Every Man Has a Maeve

Remember that old crush you might have had that, for whatever reason, you never got to see through?

Maybe you were too shy to say anything, maybe they only saw you as a friend, or maybe the timing wasn't quite right. No matter how valid those feelings may have been, the opportunity to explore them never did arise. Time passes, you move on, and you convince yourself that it was for the best. "Everything happens for a reason," after all. You didn't miss out on anything, and no matter how much you might have liked them, it was probably more of a projection of your own feelings; an unrealistic and idealized image built in your head from impulsive infatuation and misplaced emotions.

But then years later you reconnect. You've both grown into different people, but that pleasant familiarity hasn't faded one bit. Somewhere between relishing in old memories and inside jokes, you share your past feelings. That unpleasant lump in your throat starts swelling, your palms go sweaty but cold, but this time the anxiety carries a different tone. It all falls as quickly as it rises, and you finally exhale as you hear them reciprocate. You marvel at the fact that, as much as you both have changed, those feelings you felt all those years ago haven't. Everything you adored about them is as real as you thought it would be. All the years spent agonizing over "what if" or "what could have been" feel like they were worth it, because this moment is better than anything you could have daydreamt about.

It's intimidating. This experience has lived upon a pedestal for so long, that it's uncomfortable to acknowledge that you may have actually risen to this occasion. Being present in this moment is interrupted by the guilt of feeling underqualified to deliver the respect, care, and commitment you secretly promised them well before they ever met you on those terms.

The best thing you can do is accept that you are indeed worthy of this adventure, because regardless of your feelings about the situation, it's happening, and it is very much real.

I have yet to experience such a fantasy myself, but this 968 gets me pretty close.